I wrote that from age 5-7 I was in elementary school and excelled in my class. I was adored by all my teachers. Then from ages 8-10 while still in elementary school by friends began to change as I wanted to try and find people that I fit in with. I wanted to be able to dress act and talk like them. My previous friend group was hispanic and I began to feel different because I couldn’t speak the same language as them, when I went to their houses and their mothers spoke to them in Spanish. And I didn’t look like them. I wanted to have friends that looked like me. Something was still missing between me and my new friends however because although I looked like them our cultures were still very different. I felt the need to be praised and admired  by my friends because thats what I had gotten from my teachers previously. Ironically, when I had become so taken up with maintaining those friendships I lost interest in the praise and close relationships I had built with my teachers. Ultimately, I needed to feel appreciated and accepted by the people in my school because thats where I spent most of my time. They were a secondary family for me and I worried a lot about what everyone thought of me. Whether it was my teachers or my friends it didn’t matter, I was seeking the same thing.

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