Interview with my Father (Sooyeol Park)
This interview was conducted verbally in Korean. It was recorded and was later loosely translated into English. During the translating process, some parts have been left off, because it was irreverent to the focus of my autoethnography (also I got little tired of translating).
David: What is your occupation?
Sooyeol: I am a Senior Pastor at Immanuel Presbyterian Church. Our church has little less than 100 congregational members.
David: How did you become a Pastor?
Sooyeol: Well, I was an architect at LG for the first 20 years of my adulthood. Then God has called me to become a Pastor in year 2008, at age of 40. There were many doubts and disobedience at first, but eventually God led me into seminary. At the end of the second year in seminary, God gave me a passion for Korean immigrants in America. After praying through and having countless conversations and debate with my family members, we immigrated to New York in 2010. Upon arriving to New York, I served at a church named Haeun for four years. As I was serving at Haeun, I finished seminary school, and I was ordained as a Pastor in year 2014.
David: Did you ever think about becoming a Pastor prior to 2010?
Sooyeol: No, I never thought about becoming a Pastor before God has called me to be one. Although I was a deacon and a conductor of our church choir, the thought of becoming a Pastor never crossed my mind. In fact, when God has first called me to be a Pastor, I was very reluctant and disobedient. I spent hours praying listing out the reasons why I could not be a Pastor.
David: Were there anything that you had to let go in order to become a pastor?
Sooyeol: I had to let go a lot of things. To be exact, God has helped me to let go of a lot of things when I could not. But out of all things that He has helped me to let go, stability and security were extremely difficult to let go. When God called me to be his servant, I was already a husband to my wife and a father to my two sons, so letting go of my job was difficult. But because my wife was a successful principal at a kindergarten making enough to support our family, we did not have to completely let go of our financial stability. However, immigrating to New York meant completely letting go our stability and security to God. Tough it was difficult, God has helped us to let go.
David: What was the end result of letting everything go to God?
Sooyeol: Greater stability and deeper security. Once I let go of the things that I held onto so dearly, God provided me with better version of that. When I stopped being the stability and security provider for our family, God became the source of our stability and security. And the stability and security that God brings into our family can never be compared to the stability and security that I can provide. I will never be able to measure up to that. I believe that my whole entire family can confess we are happier than we have ever been. Financially speaking, we may not be doing so well, but spiritually speaking we have never been this grateful, secured, and happy.
Before conducting this interview, I was pretty confused about what my autoethnography was going to be about. But through my dad’s testimony, I became little more sure of what I want it to be about. I want my autoethnography to be about spirituality and security/general well-being/happiness.
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Thanks, David! I’m happy to see through this interview you have a stronger sense of what your project will focus on. Your father has given you a lot to work with. In fact, his admission of listing reasons why he couldn’t be pastor when God called on him to do so is worth exploring further. When he refused to listen, was his life less secure? less stable? Additionally, the terms he uses– security, stability, letting go– these are terms associating with resilience, a worthwhile concept to explore in the databases alongside religion. I’m also curious if you’ll be focusing on the way religion/spirituality can lead to happiness in general and use personal experiences and outside research OR if your methodology will be to use testimony and research that comes from people who are either in the process of becoming pastors or are already pastors…remember, you get to choose your methodology.
DW
Hi Professor Walia,
Thank you for suggesting to explore the relationship between spirituality and resilience. I will be sure to do that. Concerning the question raised by the methodology, I am not so sure as of now. However if I do choose the second option, I do think I will be limiting the research process to just people who are either in the process of becoming pastors or are already pastors. I will most likely include testimony of general congregation members as well, because I believe that letting go of one’s own life is not a calling only for pastors, but for all christians.
I read the interview, and as someone who finds most religions interesting I have to admit, I admire the theme of “letting go” on a personal level, and it was great to see your father find his purpose in life. Existential crisis is an issue in modern life. It is something we are expected to deal with ourselves. Although plenty of resources are available regarding great men and women in their search to the meaning of life, ultimately it is up to us to find the meaning of our individual lives. And your father has done so very nicely, which evident in his improved level of happiness. Viktor E. Frankl said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear almost any ‘how'” Your father seems to have found his “why”, and he has dealt with the “how” too. I wish you and your father a great life.