When I was in middle school,  I had a fair share of apologies being thrown out.  One I remember quite vividly was when my school bully was purposefully being loud and interruptive to ensure music class would get canceled.  I huffed under my breath a, what was at the time for me, class-A curse word. Of course, this warranted a visit to the guidance counselor because she complained (because it was me).  There was an awkward silence in the room when I sat down. I looked at the counselor in the eyes and apologized (mustering up the will to sound as genuine as possible) for calling my bully a female dog.  The anger on the girl’s face was priceless and my not getting in trouble was well worth the time wasted.

Alternatively, when I was in high school (still a green-behind-the-ears-freshman) I ended up in a situation where my bag was attached to a man’s bike on the subway.  The train approached my stop where I had to get off and I struggled with my bag and the man’s bike, spewing out embarrassed sorry’s with every second. Thankfully, I successfully made it off the train before the doors closed, but not without my friend glaring at me for my montage of unnecessary superfluous apologies.

These two situations are examples of forced apologies.  One is where an unwanted apology is given and the other is when an unnecessary apology is given.  In both cases, apologies were given to resolve a situation with as little tension and repercussions as possible, even if the apologies weren’t needed or genuine.

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